


say what you need to say

by bitchy_richie



Category: IT 2017
Genre: Dancing, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of Pennywise, Pining, Sweet, also mike hanlon appreciation b/c i wasn’t really able to incorporate him into the plot ):, two sweet oblivious babies, whitney houston appreciation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 00:06:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13178109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitchy_richie/pseuds/bitchy_richie
Summary: richie realizes how he feels towards eddie,and it doesn’t stop when eddie gets a boyfriend shortly after.





	say what you need to say

**Author's Note:**

> loosely based off of the lovely john mayer’s song ‘say’ (the quote “Its better to say too much then never say what you need to say again” was my inspiration for writing.) hope you enjoy!

richie tozier was hopeless. that’s at least what he thought, his parents too.

although his parents sucked, richie still managed to have the greatest people in his life. he had all of his friends, the people who he always felt were there to fall back on. 

richie was, however, hopelessly in love with his best friend. 

richie and eddie had met back in third grade through stan and bill, but back then they were not fond of each other. or, eddie was not fond of richie.

over the years, the two had come to terms with their destined friendship as they were now constantly invited to hang out in group situations where they would be forced to interact. that interaction keyed them a bond that neither thought they could have with someone else.

they had realized that they benefitted each other in every way possible, and from then on out they were never seen apart.

richie had known for a while that he was bisexual, and that eddie was gay. at first, richie had thought nothing about it, he didn’t even consider the fact that he may like boys too until the seventh grade. 

the losers had all gathered at bill’s house one day during winter break of the ‘87-‘88 school year. they were having a movie night, and it was between eddie and beverly’s choice to watch pretty in pink next and richie and bill’s choice to watch ferris bueller. 

“we watched ferris bueller last time, i think it’s only fair that we watch pretty in pink this time.” eddie argued, with a pout richie couldn’t resist on his face. “that’s only cause it’s the greatest movie to come out yet!” richie said enthusiastically, throwing his hand in the air to be high fived. no one reciprocated. “alright, fine. we’ll watch pretty in pink.” richie said with a mocking tone. “bev only wants to watch it ‘cause she’s starring in it.” he said under his breath. the way eddie’s face lit up when richie agreed to watch his choice next was a face richie recalled for the rest of the movie. the way his eyes lit up sparked something completely new in richie’s mind. 

richie ended up really enjoying the movie. he was thrown off by how interested he was in duckie, generally finding him attractive in both a romantic way and an ‘i want to be like you’ way. needless to say, duckie was what made richie realize he found men attractive too.

it wasn’t until a year and a half later, the summer of ‘89, when richie realized he was completely lost for his best friend. 

richie didn’t have much time to think in the midst of all of the chaos from that summer, but there was one thought that crowded his mind. i’ve got to make sure eddie is okay. richie’s primary instinct was to protect eddie and make sure he survived. richie didn’t ever have to think twice about it.

almost losing the closest person to you to something so horrible makes you feel some type of way, but almost losing eddie made richie realize how he’d felt all along.

sure, the pair was close. but just how close were they? they’d cuddle at movies, hold hands during things that were scary or intimidating, press soft kisses to each other’s head or cheek if they were sad; they crossed multiple boundaries that most people wouldn’t. they had never defined what they were to each other, nor did anyone else. it was always just comfortable. 

but then, richie realized that he loved eddie. he was in love with eddie. 

he wanted to hug eddie all the time, hold him close during times of desperation and sadness, he wanted to play with his hair whenever he felt. he wanted to be able to reassure every bad thought he ever had about himself, support him in every way and let him know he was loved and that he deserved the world. he wanted to kiss his lips until they were raw.

they were in eleventh grade now, just as richie was coming to his senses and even starting to believe some of that would be reciprocated, eddie got a boyfriend.

he was tall with dark, curly hair. he even kind of resembled richie himself, or at least that’s what he told himself to make him feel better. it was like all of richie’s positive qualities but better.

his name was jeremy.

richie tried to act like it was no big deal, he tried to act happy for his friend. he was; but richie was convinced that he could make eddie happier than this boy would ever make him. richie knew him better than anybody else, he knew what he did and didn’t want in a relationship and he knew what boundaries were set and what he was comfortable with.

instead of sabotaging his friend’s happiness, he began to distance himself. 

he would make up excuses when eddie asked him to hang out sometimes, and he wouldn’t attend anything his boyfriend was at as well. richie thought he was being subtle, but he wasn’t.

he wanted eddie to know that he was hurting, that he felt alone, and that he felt like he lost a piece of himself since the boy came into the picture. the thought of that was very passive, as well as an unusual tendency for richie. soon enough, eddie finally spoke up about it.

they were leaving school on a friday. richie was first to the bike rack, and by the time eddie and the rest of the losers had made their way over richie was already unhooked and sat on his bike, ready to go home.

“rich, we need to talk.” eddie said firmly as richie was preparing to bike off. “what about, spaghetti man? here to tell me about your mans?” richie said jokingly, but it came off much more harsh than intended. 

“no, we need to talk about us.” richie remained silent. “you’re distancing yourself from me. you’ve been avoiding me in school, cancelling plans with both me and the group,” eddie started on a tangent, richie just put his foot on the pedals and was prepared to leave. “i don’t know if the fact that i’m dating someone now and you’re not has anything to do with it, but we’re supposed to be best friends.” with that, richie began pedaling off. “we’ll talk later, eddie.” he said as he pushed away from the school in the direction of his house.

eddie could not believe that. he was pissed, to say the least. the rest of the losers were shocked as well, as they had walked over in time to hear how it went down.

eddie and the remaining losers biked down to the quarry, in hopes of lightening eddie’s mood and hatching a plan.

ben, bev, bill, and stan sat in a circle with eddie. after an hour of trying to piece things into place, they came to the conclusion that they were blind from the start.

stan and beverly knew about richie’s feelings towards eddie. neither fully outed him, but when ben suggested that maybe richie had been jealous that he had a boyfriend now due to possible romantic feelings eddie’s heart started jumping in his chest. it was a feeling he couldn’t quite place, but it was nothing like what his heart did when he was with jeremy.

“so you guys really believe that the reason why richie has cut me off so many times is that he likes me?” eddie said. ben, bill, and beverly nodded.

“i think it’s very likely. i mean, it makes perfect sense.” stan said. eddie was filled with anxiety, but he felt joy too. “what should i do then?” he questioned.

“well, do you like him? or do you think you might have before you started dating jeremy?” asked beverly. eddie thought for a moment. “i mean, i’ve always felt something different around him. like something i don’t feel around you guys, but i don’t know what it means.” 

“have you ever t-t-thought about dating h-him?” bill asks softly. eddie takes a minute to collect his thoughts before speaking again. “not exactly, but i’ve-“ he cut himself off to inhale. “don’t laugh, but i’ve thought about kissing him a few times.” no one laughed, but they all had notable smiles on their face. 

“well,” ben started. “i think you should talk to him about it. confront him. who knows, maybe even kiss him if you think it’s right.” eddie smiled softly to himself, but the smile soon dissipated. 

“but what about jeremy?” he asked. it took no time for stan to reply. “do you feel the way you feel around richie when you’re around jeremy?” eddie responded by nodding his head. “no, i don’t. jeremy’s the only boy who’s openly liked me, but i don’t really like him like i think i like richie.” 

“eddie, i think the solution is more obvious then you and richie’s hopeless crushes. just break up with jeremy and go talk to richie.” beverly said, putting a hand on his shoulder. (she was sat to the left of him.) “go find jeremy and end it. explain that you just don’t feel the same way he feels and that you think it’d be better if you broke it off.” 

eddie nodded. “you’re right. i think i’ll do that.” eddie felt a great amount of confidence. he stood up, and as each of the losers stood up he gave them a nice long hug. 

he was about to leave to go find jeremy when he started thinking a little too much. “okay but what if richie doesn’t like me like that?” he pondered, beverly and stan rolled their eyes at him. “i promise you that things will go smoothly. just go do what you gotta do, eddie.” beverly said.

“okay. i can do this.” he took a long inhale, exhaling and pulling his friends into a hug. eddie wasn’t even mad about how richie blew him off earlier at this point. his entire body was filled with nothing but pure emotion.

“go get ‘em, tiger. and let jeremy off easy.” beverly said lastly as eddie hopped on his bike and began peddling in the direction of jeremy’s house. 

~

richie was sat at home on his bed, his door wide open and music blasting through the room. he was singing along to whitney houston and had stood up to grab a cigarette off his desk and light it. 

he was tossing his cigarette out the open window when he heard the door open from downstairs. he assumed it was one of his parents, as they made no noise on their way in. richie ignored it and started dancing around to the music, enjoying the way it made him feel. 

momentarily, richie was interrupted. 

“you could really use some dancing lessons.” a soft, way too familiar voice cut through the music as the song was going off. richie turned around to see eddie standing in his doorway. 

“shit, fucking hell eds. do you not know how to call ahead?” eddie laughed, stepping in the room. “you never call when you show up randomly at my window expecting for me to let you in my room at the crack of dawn.” 

“but you still let me in.” richie walked over to his bed and sat at the edge of it, patting a spot beside him for eddie to come sit. “so how much of that did you see?”

eddie smiled, the image of richie’s awful dancing replaying in his head. “all of it.” 

richie covered his face and looked away dramatically. “damnit, i’m embarrassed.” this earned a breath stopping giggle from eddie. “so what brings you here at this lovely hour? shouldn’t you be with your boyfriend?” eddie sighed with content, thinking something along the lines of i am with my boyfriend, or more appropriately no need to worry about that one anymore.

“i came to apologize. i overreacted earlier, and i definitely shouldn’t have. i’m sure that was embarrassing, being fussed at for no reason.” richie slung an arm around eddie’s shoulder, his arm fitting perfectly over his small frame. “you don’t need to apologize. you noticed a problem that you wanted to fix and i blew you off. i deserved any embarrassment or weird looks i received. i was a dick for doing that, and i think i should be the one apologizing.” richie smiled lightly.

eddie looked to richie’s face, his eyes flicking to the taller boy’s lips and back up to his eyes. he felt the urge to kiss him right now, but he resisted. the music playing in the background resolved any tension or awkwardness from the few minutes of silence.

“rich, i think i know why you’ve been avoiding me. i’m probably way off, and if i am i’m really sorry for assuming something so important, but..” richie squeezed the shoulder his hand was resting on softly for assurance. “it’s okay, but what?” he said. eddie exhaled before saying his thoughts. 

“i think that maybe you like me. like, as in you wanted to date me kind of like me, but i was too blind to see that and when i heard that jeremy liked me and i decided to date him. i’m sure that hurt you a lot, so you thought it’d be best if you took your distance.” richie removed his arm from eddie’s shoulder. he waited a moment before confessing.

“i mean, i can’t lie to you.” he replied. eddie felt his heart beating, almost as if it was ready to jump straight out of his chest. “how long, rich? and why didn’t you ever tell me?”

richie sighed. “i realized i liked you that summer when we almost died. when you were in that old, creaky house down neibolt street and pennywise almost got you. i realized just how important you were to me and how much i actually wanted you. it’s like nearly losing you made me want you even more, and to be honest, i was afraid. i didn’t ever want you to feel like i was joking around with you or trying to mock you for being brave and not being afraid of letting others know your sexuality. i’ve admired that about you from day one.”

eddie was truly off put in the best of ways by richie’s words. he felt as if he was about to burst. 

“rich, i don’t ever want you to feel like you can’t tell me something. on top of everything, we’re best friends and not much could change that.” richie braced himself for rejection, as it seemed to him like that’s what he was about to recieve. “its better to say too much then never say what you need to say again. i don’t want you to feel like you have to hold yourself back around me anymore.”

eddie placed a hand on richie’s bicep, holding his arm as he turned his upper body to face richie. richie was unsure of what to do or say, so he remained quiet and maintained eye contact with eddie. 

at some point eddie must have lost himself, because he was now kissing richie. keeping a grip on richie’s arm, his other hand met richie’s cheek and it stayed there until richie pulled away.

“eddie..” richie mumbled. “yeah, rich?” 

“what-“ he felt a pang of guilt and placed a hand on his forehead. “what about jeremy?”

eddie smiled widely. “calm down, he’s totally fine with it.” the look on richie’s face was priceless. “what do you mean? he’s just okay with you coming over here and kissing me while i confess my undying love to you?” richie didn’t quite mean to say the last part, but eddie didn’t read to much into it. 

“undying love, eh?” he pressed a soft kiss below the corner of richie’s eye. “don’t worry.” another kiss to his cheek. “i broke up with him before i came over.” he whispered into richie’s ear before turning his face to kiss him on the lips again.

the second kiss lasted longer and was much more involved. the two were both in bliss, the feeling of each other on their lips; a feeling neither of them knew to the full extent of how they desired it. craved it. needed it.

they kissed for what seemed like forever. 

they had both drowned out the sound of the music, and they forgot it was playing until the beginning of whitney houston’s “i wanna dance with somebody” got eddie’s attention.

“oh my god, i love this song.” he exclaimed. richie smirked. “so how about some dancing lessons, mr. expert?” he said slyly, standing up and offering a hand out for eddie to take. 

they sung along as eddie showed richie some basic steps and basic dances. neither of them had laughed that much in one single day. eddie got richie dancing decently.

“well, i think i know who i’m taking to prom.” richie said, pressing a kiss to the top of eddie’s head. 

“you know, rich,” eddie began, richie murmured a soft ‘hmm’. “i think you should at least ask me out first.” eddie giggled. richie had a smile bigger than any other plastered along his face. “if you insist.” he replied before the two locked lips once again.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you all enjoyed! i wrote this very spontaneouy and it’s kind of bad, but i still very much wanted to publish it. if you haven’t heard the song ‘say’ by john mayer, (or any of his music) then check it out! that was the inspo for this fic. 
> 
> i would love to hear some opinions on this, because i have plenty of song-inspired fic ideas but i’m not too sure about them. feel free fo leave comments letting me know your opinion and kudos if you so desire. i love you all, thank you so much for your continued support


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